[OPE] How many ( .....) does it take to change a light bulb

glevy@pratt.edu

Hi Jurriaan:

I thought you and others might appreciate this entry from "Shagya Blog":
most of the jokes concern various types of anarchists but Marxists (and
others) aren't spared.

In solidarity, Jerry

==========
SHAGYA BLOG: How many ( .....) does it take to change a light bulb?
Monday, February 12, 2007

But first, why do anarchists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft! [ouch]

How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends ...probably only one if they have invisible hands.

How many social anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the light bulb must change itself. All anarchists can do is help its
process of discovery.

How many Stalinists would it have taken to change a light bulb during the
first five year plan?
None, for if the light bulb needed changing then comrade Stalin -- the
embodiment of Marxist-Leninist praxis -- would have forseen the fact that
the light bulb needed changing and so organised the 5 year plan to replace
the lightbulb before it needed changing from the vast stock of light bulbs
which the plan had produced -- stocks in excess of the amount originally
planned, for the workers were inspired by their love of comrade
Dzhugashvili and the Socialist Motherland to work harder and produce more,
using less!

How many primitivists does it take to change a light bulb?
Wha ... 's a l-i (er)-h-t b-u-(er )-b?

How many individualists does it take to change a light bulb?
One ... but only if someone is watching

How many Maoists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to smash the old one and another to declare, "No watching! This
light bulb is property of the Great Helmsman!"

How many white collar dogmatic Marxist-Leninists does it take to change a
light bulb?
That's a contradiction in terms--white collar workers can't be
proletarians, therefore can't be Marxist-Leninists, that's clearly a sign
of petty bourgeois revisionism!

How many Trotskyists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they'll SWEAR the light glows brighter

How many monarchists does it take to change a light bulb?
King Arthur: "I am Arthur, king of the Britons! The lady of the lake rose
from the waters and tossed me a light bulb, that it may be placed in the
holy socket!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "What the bloody hell? Some wet tart isn't no
basis for civil light bulb changing! We know how you really got that light
bulb in place! By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated
imperialist dogma ..."
Anarcho-syndicalist #2: "There you go again, bleating on about class!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "But can't you see that's what it's all about!"
King Arthur: "But I am your leader!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "Oh, did you hear that? That's what I'm on about"
King Arthur: "Bloody Peasant!!!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: " Oh that's a giveaway. You see that!! Help,help,
I'm being repressed!!!

How many Bakuninists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but only because the material circumstances of mankind suggest that
there was no supernatural lightmaker to "let there be light." Being a
jealous lover of human darkness, I reverse the statement of Voltaire and
say: If a supernatural light maker really existed, it would be necessary
to abolish him.

How many Proudhonists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but lighting is theft.

How many ISO members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They are all busy selling party newspapers.

How many anarchist/communists does it take to change a light bulb?
42 ... one to change the bulb, two to launch a campaign against the bulb
as a symbol of capitalist oppression, and 39 to start a self help group to
persuade light bulbs everywhere that they shouldn't obey oppressive
institutions such as light bulb fittings but should otherthrow the
electricity dictatorship and form a free society where all electrical
appliances can live in non exploitative harmony with their comrades in the
class struggle, the calculators.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The light bulb's own internal contradictions will inevitably lead to
"revolution".

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Hard to say. There's one to write WinGetLight BulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle... Check MS
knowledge base for service pack.

Labels: anarchism, humour, jokes

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