david
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> > ***-- VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com --***
> >
> > Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
> > one is extremely serious. Please read very carefully and
> > take care!
> >
> > If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
> > immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
> > nasty.
> >
> > It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
> > will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
> > computer.
> >
> > It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
> >
> > It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
> > on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
> > CD's you attempt to play.
> >
> > It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
> > so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
> >
> > It will program your phone autodial to call only your
> > mother-in-law's number.
> >
> > This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
> >
> > It will drink all your beer.
> >
> > It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
> > expecting company.
> >
> > Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
> > bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
> > behind your ears.
> >
> > It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
> > Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
> > your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
> > card.
> >
> > It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
> > way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
> >
> > It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
> >
> > It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
> > verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
> > misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
> > sentences.
> >
> > If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
> > environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
> > hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
> >
> > It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
> > pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
> > whole milk.
> >
> > It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
> >
> > It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
> > causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
> >
> > It is insidious and subtle.
> >
> > It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
> >
> > It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
> >
> > These are just a few signs of infection.
> >
> > PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!