The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand is the most challenging book that I have ever read. I found myself quickly and completely sucked into the depths of the complicated battle between appearances versus reality on the most fundamental level, between people. This conflict is clearly evident in the conversation between Peter and Dominique. I have read this passage hundreds of times, but each time I am shocked by the truth that lies within it.

Human beings will go to extraordinary lengths to uphold appearances and avoid reality. We create elaborate, complicated facades to hide our true selves from others; mostly because we are afraid, ashamed, or even completely unaware of our true selves, of our “I”. We rarely share the two things that identify us as individuals with any other person: our “thoughts” and our “desires.” Peter is guilty of the same things he accuses Dominique of, and it is this realization that he cannot accept. He has no original thought or desires; he merely adopted those of his friends. But they do not have any original thoughts either. They are “mirrors,” simply reflecting the views and opinions of others with “no beginning and no end” and “no center and no purpose.” The only real difference between Peter and Dominique is that she refuses to disguise this reality. By not conforming to the understood law of interpersonal communication, share “your opinion” if it is the opinion of others, Dominique appears to be a “living corpse” devoid of any human spirit or soul. But she is merely the reality that lies within everyone, beyond the facades, masks, and appearances, the “blank death.” 

For the past few weeks, this realization has tainted almost every interaction I have had with other people. In retrospect, I can see the distinct phases of accepting, understanding, and applying this reality to my life, but it was by no means an easy process. At first, you naturally become a little defensive. “I don’t do that! That’s not me!” Yet, if you take the time to really examine the conversations you have had in the last day. You will quickly realize how superficial and insignificant most of them were. You may have talked a lot, but did you really say anything? And if you said anything, were you really being honest with yourself and them? The realization that most conversation has no real meaning was a difficult one for me to accept. I am a very outgoing, talkative, and social person and it was hard for me to accept that, in a sense, I was wasting my time. For the next couple of days, I became very frustrated with the conversations I was having. They appeared to be pointless; I could not ignore the superficiality and emptiness of them. So, I returned to this passage in search of a solution, or at least a deeper understanding.

Then I discovered two ways to escape from falling into the “blank death” of communication. One way is to not give up your independence; you must express your views and make decisions. If you share part of yourself, your “thoughts” and your “desires,” the conversation will instantly become more personal and meaningful to everyone involved. But sharing part of yourself is not very easy; it requires being vulnerable and honest both with others and your self. It is definitely a lot easier and safer to remain distant and uninvolved; yet, not nearly as satisfying. The second escape is to avoid your instinct to only communicate with people who will be “mirrors,” those who express similar ideas and opinions. You should try to find people who will challenge you and you beliefs. If you allow people to become real to you, you will be truly amazed at what you can discover.