Rarely do I read a book the “hits me to the core,” makes me cry and really has me thinking well after I have read it. Well that was the case in Mitch Albom’s book tuesday’s with Morrie. As I find May 15 rapidly approaching and my time here at Wake Forest quickly dwindling, I find cannot help but relate to this book. I want to be someone that I can say at the end of my road I have done it all and can recount all the great times I had with those I loved. This book has made me realize it is not how much money I make, the grade I get on a particular test or even how great my job is when I leave here. But, more importantly the things that really matter are the friends who I have made, who have helped shape me into the person I am today, my family who has supported me for the last 22 years, and the relationships I have made with those I have met on my journey so far. I have come to recognize that the most important things are staying up with my friends to watch the sun come up and laughing so hard it hurts, making last minute trips home just to sleep in my own bed and to see my parents, leaving a note on someone’s car just to say hello and letting those know who are so precious to you that you love them. This is what really matters in the grand scheme of things.

Thus, on that note I have decided to take the chapters in Albom’s book that deal with different aspects of life and give you my perspective, advice, and outlook on a few of them, a “Tuesday’s with Morgan” if you will. I would like to give my opinion on some of these situations in life and relate them to me, a 22-year old about to graduate college. I may not know much at this point in my life, but I do hope that I know what is important and I hope to convey this to you as I continue to write my thoughts on life’s little situations.

The Second Tuesday: Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Give you self a good cry, allow someone to give you a reality check and you should be good to go! This is what I have found not only works best but takes the shortest amount of time. Yes, it is ok to feel sorry for yourself, but as Morrie said this should only be for a brief, few minutes of time. I don't care who are you, male or female that is nothing that a good, and I mean really good cry can do to get everything out of your system. Then if that doesn’t work you need someone who you can count on who knows you best or “better than yourself’ as my mom always says to jerk a reality check into you. This does not have to be mean or abrupt but they need to lay things out there for you and tell you that you are being selfish and self-centered. Then they should explain to you that you actually do have a really great life and then you are done, ready to take the next battle that is to come you way head on. You have allowed yourself the self pity needed, gotten it out of your system and are now ready to go, once again you are a pleasant person to be around. Because they most important fact is that we are all really lucky in some fashion or another. Life has dealt us a great hand in just being alive…we just sometimes forget and need a little help remembering.

The Third Tuesday: Regret

Regret, this is a small six letter word that has huge implications. As I watched my own father be diagnosed with cancer at 39 and I watched last year as he buried his best friend at 53 I have learned a lot about regret. Here it is: life is too short to have any regrets. The truth of the matter is it is when you are gone that is it, there is nothing going with you, you cannot come back and tell those that you forgot to tell you loved them that you do, and that amazing vacation that you wanted to take but just didn’t have the time is not going to happen. Therefore, you need to be honest not just with yourself but with those around you. Tell them how you feel whether it is good or bad, you love them or you don't. Fight with your best friend, fall deeply in love, do something that scares you to death. Allow yourself to live life to the fullest, have the deepest emotions from one extreme to the other, take the grandest adventures, and enjoy the pleasure as well as the pain. This is not a dress rehearsal you have only got one shot at this thing called life so make it count.

The Fourth Tuesday: Death

Death: the fact of the matter is it is going to happen. We can’t change it nor can we do anything about it. We do not know how long we have on this earth or what tomorrow brings. So live life to the best of your ability and embrace death as a part of life. But most importantly, and this is very important, treat death as a celebration of life. Mourn for the loss but then celebrate who they were and what the lived. As Morrie said: “it (death) is part of the deal we made.” Death, it is going to happen…deal with it.

The Fifth Tuesday: Family

Family: the most important thing you will ever have in your life. They will support you not matter the circumstances and love you even on your bad days. Don’t take a lifetime to realize that your annoying mother is actually a loving and endearing soul and maybe her quirks aren’t so bad. And that you dad, the one who embarrassed you beyond belief whenever your date picked you up will always be there to protect you and love you. And those siblings, yes, they are the most aggravating thing on the planet but they are you blood and you can’t do anything about it. You need your family so love them and embrace them for who they are and what they will become.

The Sixth Tuesday: Emotions

Emotions are what make us who we are. How we handle different situations and how we respond to those around us make us human beings. There are good emotions and bad emotions…it is important in my opinion to experience all of these and experience them fully. Life is about the highs and low, the pleasure and the pain. Thus, to live life you have to feel all of these emotions. You haven’t lived life if you have not felt loneliness, pain, fear, anxiety, joy, amazement, confusion, grief, loss, etc. But as Morrie said, you have to let these emotions overcome you so that you can recognize them, “bath” in them and then move on from them. This is the most important part: to have the ability to know what you are feeling, allow yourself to experience it then move on before you dwell in that emotional stage for too long.

The Seventh Tuesday: The Fear of Aging

When I read this book I didn’t think much about this chapter until last night. As I went home at the very last minute this past weekend to see my parents for a quick visit, I found myself thinking about this chapter. Falling asleep last night I thought about my parents and the fact that they are not getting any younger. Do not get me wrong my parents are young, they are in their early 50s but it is coming to the point where I am thinking about what the rest of life has to offer. By this I mean, jobs, marriage, kids, etc. and the fact that I want my parents to be around and experience all of this with me. And if it is my good fortune and the good Lord is willing they will be. My parents aren’t afraid of aging so why should I be afraid of them aging. After reading Morrie’s thoughts, I realized there is a time and place for everything. My parents already had their shot of being 22 now it is my turn and lucky for me they are here to help guide me though this period. Thus, I should be excited about all stages in life and excited for my parents and all the stages of their lives and even the one’s to come. How exciting for them to be grandparents, how much fun for them to grow old together, how much fun for them to travel and experience new things…they still have some of the best years to come!

The Eighth Tuesday: Money

As Morrie mentioned in an early chapter the Buddhists say “Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent.” I think this is a really important idea when considering money. Yes, money makes life easier and can make issues a little less problematic to deal such as in a marriage and with kids. But I have seen some of the richest (in monetary terms) people I know live the most miserable and unhappy lives. If I have heard it once I have heard it a million times: “money doesn’t buy happiness.” Yes, it helps to pay the bills, buy a house, pay for college, etc. but it doesn’t buy laughter, smiles and certainly not happiness. The most pertinent issue pertaining to money is to keep it all in perspective. It isn’t going to make you happy and it probably isn’t going to make you sad but what is going to make you ultimately happy is giving, whether that is giving money if you are able or giving you time. This is where the ultimate fulfillment is found. As Morrie so eloquently stated today’s society puts our values in the wrong things. When we can realize this our lives will be much more enriched.

The Eleventh Tuesday: Culture

Today’s culture is much different than it was 20 years ago, 30 years, ago, 50 years ago. My mom and I deal with certain issues in very different ways. Not because we don't agree on things but the culture in which we grew up deals with these issues in different manners. It is true and Morrie so wisely pointed out, “the biggest defect us humans have is our shortsightedness.” Even though people grow up in different times and different cultures they should accept people for who they are and realize they might see eye to eye or they might not and this is ok. There is nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree with another human being. But a huge part of learning to live a fulfilled life if accepting others for whom they are and appreciate them for bringing aperspectives and ideas into you life. How boring would life be if we all grew up in the same culture for the last 2000 years and nothing had changed? Thank goodness I don't have to wear a corset every day but I can appreciate what they can do for your waist line. And thank goodness women today are viewed more and more as man’s equal but I can appreciate all the hard work that my mom and grandmother and great grandmother, etc had to do for us to now feel this way.

The Twelfth Tuesday: Forgiveness

Have you ever had days when you hated the ground that your parents walked on because they would not let you play at a friend’s house but the very next day you thought they hung the moon because they packed you a special lunch with a note in your lunch box? I think whether or not we can admit it this is forgiveness. There is no point living life without this. Life is too short to hold grudges and to not forgive someone for who they are or what they did. We are human beings, we all make mistakes, say things we shouldn’t say and do things we shouldn’t do. But if you love someone you will forgive them. This is the truest form of love I know. To look past imperfections is accepting someone for who they are and allowing them to become the person they are capable of becoming. So forgive it is that plain and simple.

The Thirteenth Tuesday: The Perfect Day

Wow- the perfect day, this seems like a huge feat to tackle. I find myself continually changing what I believe to be a perfect day. But I think this is completely normal and healthy to change the idea of the perfect day. I feel this should change and evolve as we grow and have different experiences in life. I am pretty sure that my idea of a perfect day at age 22 it will change when I am 30 then again at 45 and again at 65. Actually, I think it is a pretty good assumption that this can change daily. It is my hope that when I lay my head down on my pillow each night my idea of a perfect day consists of simple aspects such as dinner with a friend, an “I love you” from a family member, a good morning and hearing a good joke. These are things that I hope make up my perfect day.

The Fourteenth Tuesday: Good-bye

Why is it that good-bye’s are so hard? The three year old I babysit has a really difficult time with good-byes. It is as if she already knows at the tender age of three that good- byes are one of the most difficult things to do in life. Here is how I feel about good-byes: If you say all you want to say to someone as you are living life and not when they are ready to leave then a good-bye is just a quick gesture to reaffirm you feelings and thoughts, they already know how you feel about them. I have a bad habit of goodbyes. My best friend and I just don't do them. I always slip out without her knowing or she will pick a fight so that when we do leave we are glad the other one has left. This is not normal nor healthy but it is how we deal with it. Until lately, we have been much more open about how we feel about each other and how much we cherish our friendship and now good-byes aren’t so hard. They are just as much a part of life as birth and death. They have to happen whether we like it or not so I had to figure out a new way to deal with them. Why not make them a happy time so the last memory you have of that person is pleasant and joyful.

As Morrie said, “when you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” This book has taught me that. Thank you Morrie and thank you Mitch Albom for making me realize at a young age the important things in life. I will be forever grateful that I have learned to understand life as an ever changing miracle and to embrace every part of it both the good and the bad for they make it fun and interesting while adding a bit of spice.