John A. Gemmer

FYS 
Spring 2023

Instructor: John Gemmer
Office: Manchester #388
E-mail: gemmerj@wfu.edu

Office Hours: Tuesday 10-11, Wednesday 12-2, Thursday 1-3
Meeting Time: MWF: 10:00-10:50, Manchester Hall, Room 017
Textbooks: No textbook.

Course Handouts:
1. Syllabus: (.pdf)
2. Ground Rules: (.pdf)
3. Calendar of Discussions: (.pdf)
4. Project Description: (.pdf)
5. Written Report Rubric: (.pdf)
6. Presentation Rubric: (.pdf)

Topic #1 (01/13/23): Introduction and Safe Spaces
 Readings:

  1. Meeting Facilitation – the No-Magic Method
  2. Guidelines for Discussing Difficult or High-Stakes Topics
  3. A Community Builder's Tool Kit: 15 Tools for Creating Healthy, Productive Interracial/ Multicultural Communities
Pre-class reading reflection questions:
  1. How can we create an environment that is respectful and comfortable for all despite our differences?
  2. How can we structure discussions so that we can challenge our views and perspectives in a constructive and nonthreatening way?
  3. What would you like to see in this space in order to feel encouraged to share your personal experiences?

Topic #2 (01/25/23): General Philosophy of Science
 Readings: For this reading assignment read the essay on scientific objectivity and then choose one of the two groups of topics to read, i.e., read either the two papers discussing racial bias in science objectivity or the two papers discussing gender bias in scientific objectivity.

  1. Scientific Objectivity (.pdf)
  2. Racial Bias I (.pdf)
  3. Racial Bias II (.pdf)
  4. Gender Bias I (.pdf)
  5. Gender Bias II (.pdf)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Define scientific objectivity.
  2. Briefly summarize the main theses of sections 2-4 of the "Scientific Objectivity" essay.
  3. Discuss whether scientific objectivity is achievable or desirable.
  4. The practical implications of the readings for how science is, or should be, conducted and by whom.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 1/27/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

Topic #3 (01/30/23): Underrepresented Minorities in STEM
 Readings: We are going examine some of the unique challenges underrepresented minorities (URM) face in science. Examining this topic will lend us a better idea of the systemic problems that lead to the dearth of URMs in the sciences. For the reading assignment the primary articles are the paper by Byars and Winston as well as the paper by Gutierrez. The other papers are supplemental and provide further material for us to explore. Please read at least three of the additional articles.

  1. Byars-Winston Paper (.pdf)
  2. Gutierrez: "Gap Gazing" (.pdf)
  3. Underrepresentation in Engineering (.pdf)
  4. Internationality in Educational Research (.pdf)
  5. HBCUs and STEM (.pdf)
  6. African American Students at Predominantly White Institutions (.pdf)
  7. Where are the Women of Color? (.pdf)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Summarize the findings about the statistics discussed in the readings.
  2. What are ways in which the self-efficacy the Byars-Winston paper is focused on might be fostered or harmed?
  3. What pitfalls did Gutierrez associate with “gap-gazing”?
  4. Briefly summarize the two strategies discussed in the papers that you found most compelling in addressing the challenges faces by underrepresented minorities in STEM education.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/01/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

Topic #4 (02/03/23): Adultification Bias
 Readings and Videos: This week we will learn about adultification bias and the many ways it can manifest. Please watch the following videos and read the following articles.

  1. NBC News video (link)
  2. PBS video (link)
  3. Girlhood Interrupted (.pdf)
  4. Georgetown Law (link)
  5. New York Times Article (.pdf)
  6. Chicago Tribune (.pdf)
  7. Colorism, Gender, and School Suspension (link)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Describe adultification bias and its multiple forms.
  2. What do you think the root causes of adulification bias?
  3. Does adultification manifest differently for different genders?
  4. In what ways could adultification bias be countered?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/06/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

Topic #5 (02/08/23): Women a Historical Perspective
 Readings and Videos: This week we will focus on women in science from a historical perspective. Specifically, we will focus on the following ideologies: essentialism, liberal feminism, and cultural feminism.

  1. Search the internet for a definition of Essentialist Feminism.
  2. Search the internet for a definition of Liberal Feminism.
  3. Search the internet for a definition of Cultural Feminism.
  4. Read the following article on Thomas Edison's test for "A-Class men" (.pdf)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Write down the definitions you found of feminist essentialism, liberal feminism, and cultural feminism.
  2. How are these different feminist positions still evident in science today?
  3. How have the perceptions, challenges, and opportunities for women in science changed over time?
  4. Look through the questions in Edison's test for "A-class men". Are there any modern types of questionnaires or exams similar to the style of Edison's test?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/10/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

Topic #6 (02/13/23): Feminist philosophy of science
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss several theoretical arguments from feminist philosophers of science concerning the makeup of the scientific community and its ramifications for the authority of “objective” scientific inquiry.

  1. Search the internet for a definition of Standpoint Theory.
  2. Search the internet for a definition of Feminist Empiricism.
  3. Search the internet for a definition of Feminist Postmodernism.
  4. Read sections 1, 2, and 4 from the following article: (link).
  5. Watch the following video: (link).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Write down the definitions you found of standpoint theory, feminist empiricism, and feminist postmodernism.
  2. Before you read the article, what did you think Feminist Philosophy of Science meant? What is the word supposed to mean and is it more about philosophy, or more about science?
  3. Briefly summarize the article focusing on points that 1) interest you, 2) you do or do not agree with, and 3) you don’t understand.
  4. How have the perceptions, challenges, and opportunities for women in science changed over time?
  5. Summarize the meaning of Feminist Philosophy of Science in your own words.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/15/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#7 (02/17/23): Science Policy: Past, Present and Future
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss Title IX and affirmative action as they relate to science and university education. Please complete the following tasks.

  1. Read the paper "Affirmative action policies promote women and do not harm efficiency in the laboratory" (.pdf).
  2. Read the Old Gold and Black article discussing Wake Forest and affirmative action (link).
  3. Read the first four questions and responses from the "NCAA Title IX" FAQ (link).
  4. Read the executive summary, introduction, and one section from "Title IX at 50: A Report by the National Coalition for Women and Girls in Education" (.pdf). The sections you can choose from are: Sexual Harassment, Discriminatory Discipline Based on Sex and Race, LGBTQI+ Students, Pregnant and Parenting Students, Athletics, Gender and Race Conscious Programs, Sex-Segregated Education, STEM and CTE.
  5. Read the paper "Ten Strategies to Reduce Gender Inequality at Scientific Conferences" (.pdf).
  6. Read Wake Forest University's Title IX Statement (link)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Write down a brief description of what affirmative action is.
  2. Write down a brief description of what the Title IX is.
  3. What are the arguments for and against affirmative action.
  4. Briefly describe what the impact of Title IX has been.
  5. From your readings, what are some recommendations or strategies to support historically underrepresented groups.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/20/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#8 (02/22/23): Diversity
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss the importance of diversity in an academic and professional setting.

  1. Read the poem "What Shall I Tell My Children Who Are Black." (link).
  2. Read the paper "The Case Against Racial Colorblindness." (link).
  3. Read the paper "Color Blindness and Interracial Interaction: Playing the Political Correctness Game." (.pdf).
  4. Select one of the essays to read from "12 Essays To Help You Understand White Privilege" (link).
  5. Read the introduction and concluding remarks from "Groups of diverse problem solvers can out perform groups of high-ability problem solvers" (.pdf)
  6. Read the introduction, summary of problems, and who uses this results from "Does Diversity Trump Ability?" (.pdf)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. How does this poem exhibit how a lack of diversity affects our lives on a personal level?
  2. Minorities have to talk to their children about why they are seen differently by the world, how would you feel if you were the parent in this situation? Have you been talked to about your differences by your parents?
  3. Discuss what you have learned from the reading about about the term color blindness.
  4. Summarize the essay on white privilege that you picked.
  5. With respect to scientific objectivity, briefly reflect on the article by Hong and Page and the article by Thompson.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/24/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#9 (02/27/23): Education
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss education specifically with regards to educating a diverse body of students as well as barriers that can be placed in front of students with regards to equitable education.

  1. Read the introduction as well as the sections "Race and Punishment", "Racial Composition and Discipline Inequality" and "Discussion" from "Homogeneity and Inequality: School Discipline Inequality and the Role of Racial Composition" (.pdf).
  2. Read the paper "Science faculty’s subtle gender biases favors male students". (You can skim the statistics). (.pdf).
  3. Read the paper "Pygmalion in the Classroom" (.pdf).
  4. Read the article "Peer Instruction: Ten years of experience and results" (You can skim/skip the statistics/methodology) (.pdf)
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Summarize any effective teaching strategies outlined in the readings.
  2. Have you seen any of these strategies in your classes at Wake Forest?
  3. What practical implications does the content of these papers have for teaching?
  4. How do the results of the studies on “growth spurters” and gender biases by faculty reported on in the readings impact inclusive teaching strategies?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 2/29/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#10 (03/03/23): STEM in Industry
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss education specifically with regards to educating a diverse body of students as well as barriers that can be placed in front of students with regards to equitable education.

  1. Read "Why men may not try to have it all the same way women do". (link).
  2. Read the report "High Potentials in Tech-Intensive Industries: The Gender Divide in Business Roles" (.pdf).
  3. Scan through the paper "Social incentives for gender differences in the propensity to initiate negotiations: Sometimes it does hurt to ask" (.pdf).
  4. Read the report "A blueprint for balance: time to fix the broken windows" (.pdf).
  5. Look at the the statistics in "Women Still Underrepresented in Tech" (link).
  6. Look at the statistics in "Diversity in Tech" (link).
  7. Look at the statistics in "Why Tech Leadership Has a Bigger Race Than Gender Problem" (link).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Briefly summarize the Statistics for representation in tech companies, the general workforce, and leadership positions.
  2. Discuss strategies to support and mentor underrepresented groups in companies.
  3. Discuss pay gaps in tech, and obstacles to closing them.
  4. Discuss the longitudinal study about work-life balance choices.
Due to spring break, there is no post reflection due!!

#11 (03/17/23): Mental Health in STEM and Higher Education
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss mental health as it relates to STEM and higher education. We will also focus specifically on ways in which issues of mental health can be better accommodated in higher education.

  1. Read "Evidence for a mental health crisis in graduate education" (pdf).
  2. Read "Disclosure Blues: Should You Tell Colleagues About Your Mental Illness?" (.pdf).
  3. Read "Racial and Ethnic Differences in Mental Illness Stigma and Discrimination Among Californians Experiencing Mental Health Challenges" (.pdf).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. Summarize the statistics from "Evidence for a mental health crisis in graduate education".
  2. Summarize the statistics from "Racial and Ethnic Differences in Mental Illness Stigma and Discrimination Among Californians Experiencing Mental Health Challenges"
  3. Discuss what the obstacles are that individuals with mental illness face.
  4. What are strategies that individuals and institutions can adopt to lower these barriers.
  5. How can I help those that are struggling with mental health?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 3/20/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#12 (03/22/23): Science Communication
 Readings and Videos: In this class we will discuss the portrayal of scientists in the media, both in the news and and in popular culture. We will also specifically focus on the bias within the meadia as well as common stereotypes.

  1. Read "Viewing what comes naturally: A feminist approach to television natural history" (pdf).
  2. Read "The image of scientists in The Big Bang Theory" (.pdf).
  3. Read "The Road to Scientific Imagination: Connections between Science and the Movies" (link).
  4. Read "Communicating Science to Policymakers: Six Strategies for Success" (.pdf).
  5. Read "The Cultural Side of Science Communication" (pdf).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. From your readings and your own experiences, how are scientists and science portrayed in the media?
  2. Whose responsibility is it to shape the discussion of science in the media?
  3. How should media present science objectively but also in a manner that can be effectively consumed by the population?
  4. What effect does the portrayal of science have in regions of the world in which there are barriers to people with limited educations or access to varied media?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 3/24/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#13 (03/27/23): How Science Developed
Readings and Videos: We investigate how science developed, focusing on accounts of the people who developed it, paying special attention to who they are and how they are described in relation to the social circumstances of their time.

  1. Read "Navigation in the Western Carolines A Traditional Science" (pdf).
  2. Read "Science for the West, Myth for the Rest?" (.pdf).
  3. Read "Body Ritual Among the Nacirema" (.pdf).
  4. Read "The objectivity of local knowledge. Lessons from ethnobiology" (.pdf).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. From the readings throughout this class and through searching the internet, what are some definitions of science and practical science?
  2. How would you define "science" and "scientific activity"?
  3. From your readings, what were some of the alternative views on the world and science?
  4. From your readings, to what extent is a lack of cultural competency a barrier to adequately understanding a scientific/social structure?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 3/29/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#14 (03/31/23): Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault
Readings and Videos: We will discuss sexual harassment with an additional focus on sexual harassment of women of color. We also discuss legal options for individuals who have been sexually harassed.

  1. Read the blog post "Sexual Harassment and Women of Color" (link).
  2. Read "Understanding your Legal Options if You've Been Sexually Harassed" (link).
  3. Read "The Sexual Harassment of Uppity Women" but skip sections labeled "sample", "measures" or "results" (.pdf).
  4. Read "Out of the Shadows, An Analysis of Sexual Harassment Charges Filed by Working Women" (.pdf).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. From your readings, what are some of the differences that people of color experience with regards to sexual harassment?
  2. From your readings, what are your legal options if you've been sexually harassed?
  3. Summarize the conclusions from the three studies by Berdahl.
  4. Summarize the major findings in the analysis conducted by the National Women's Law Center.
  5. From your readings, what can institutions and individuals do to prevent sexual harassment?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 4/03/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#15 (04/05/23): Race and Gender
Readings and Videos: This discussion will be devoted to familiarizing ourselves with different perspectives of gender and race.

  1. Read the description of essentialism posted at the following link (link). Pay particular attention to the six examples of essentialism.
  2. Read about constructivism at the following link (link). Pay particular attention to the principles of constructivism.
  3. Read "Feminist Perspectives on Sex and Gender" (link).
  4. Read "Taking Race out of Human Genetics" (.pdf).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. How do you define race and gender?
  2. From your readings and in your own words, describe the concepts of essentialism and constructivism.
  3. How have the theories of essentialism and constructivism been applied to ancestry, race, gender, and sex?
  4. What has caused feminists to distinguish between sex and gender?
  5. What are the similarities and differences between the discussions about race and gender?
Post-discussion reflection (Due 4/07/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#16 (04/10/23): Intersectionality
Readings and Videos: This discussion will focus on the notion of intersectionality and the role this plays in our identity.

  1. Read the primer on intersectionality (including the appendices) (.pdf).
  2. Watch the following Ted Talk on abstract mathematics and intersectionality (link).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. From your reading, define what intersectionality is. In particular, what are the tenents of intersectionality.
  2. Summarize the point of the comic "intersectionality a fun guide".
  3. How does the reading define the difference between equality and equity.
  4. From both from the educator and the student perspectives, summarize the classroom disucssion guidelines.
  5. How does Eugenia Cheng in the Ted Talk use abstract mathematics to discuss intersectionality?
  6. What are some of the main assumptions Eugenia makes in her argument and do you think they are correct? (There is no right or wrong answer).
Post-discussion reflection (Due 4/12/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?

#17 (04/14/23): Patient Bias in Healthcare
Videos and podcasts: This discussion will focus on the various biases that arise in healthcare and their impact on patients.

  1. Watch the video: "Bias in Healthcare" (link).
  2. Watch the video: "The Weight of Stigma: Heavier Patients Confront the Burden of Bias" (link).
  3. Watch the video: "Health Care Horror Stories (link).
  4. Watch the video: "BIAS: Be Me - Experiencing Gender Bias in Healthcare" (link).
  5. Listen to the podcast: "How Some Doctors Discriminate Against Patients with Disabilities" (.link).
  6. Listen to the podcast: "Doctors' Unconscious Bias Affects Quality Of Health Care Services" (.link).
Pre-class reading reflections:
  1. From each of the videos/podcasts summarize the ways in which different groups experience bias within the United States healthcare system.
  2. How does the bias of medical professionals effect objectivity.
  3. Google and write down the Hypocratic oath. How can doctors better address their own biases in order to adhere to the tenents of the Hopocratic oath.
Post-discussion reflection (Due 4/17/23): Write a post-discussion essay (approximately 1-2 pages) in which you reflect on the reading and in-class discussions. Provide concise responses to the questions that guided us through the discussion and reflect critically on the reading materials (including questioning the methodologies used and assessing the validity of the conclusions drawn in the research papers). Address the following questions:
  1. Have I gained a better or different understanding of the topic through the reading and discussion?
  2. Have I broadened my thinking or generated new thoughts or ideas not previously formulated
  3. Have I helped my peers clarify their thinking and in doing so clarified my own thinking?